My name is Wally Moto and I am the meanest kitty in the
State/Republic of Texas. When I was two days old my Biological
Mom dropped me between the walls of my Dad's shop (something
about my constant whining). I meowed for a day and a half until
my dad heard me and removed the siding from the outside of the
building. Yeah, that siding and insulation would have been
history if I'd stayed in there any longer. He dubbed me Wally
and mom added the Moto because she said I looked Siamese.
He SHOULD have pulled me out sooner--I've been retaliating
ever since. My favorite target is my slave Mom. I let her know
in no uncertain terms where she may go in the house and yard.
She sure looks silly with all those band-aids on her legs and
arms. If Dad catches me, he makes me leave Mom alone. I usually
just freeze on her leg and hope he won't notice me.
I demand daily treats and yowl constantly (when I'm not
hissing). I take daily inventory of the house, garage, and yard
to see if anything has changed. When I'm patrolling Dad calls me
the "Little General". I love to shower daily affection on my
dad. He rules! I let my Mom hold me for a few minutes each
morning--I HAVE to do this because she buys my food, feeds me,
opens the door when I want in or out, de-fleas me, takes me to
the vet, pays my vet bills and defends me when Dad says I'm
worthless. So I figure I can tolerate fifteen minutes a week
from her. Besides, she trainable.
I enjoy killing birds, mice/rats, and lizards. I leave them
on the back step so Dad can see them and Mom can dispose of
them. I attack dogs if they come in the front yard, cats if they
even look in my yard, and the mailman and I have had a few
rounds. At just under twenty pounds, it's my way or blood will
be let. Go ahead and squirt me with the water hose--I love
water.
Mom wrote this ballad for me when she realized my biological
Mom dropped me down the wall on purpose. If you hum "Pretty Fly
for a White Guy" in your head, you'll be able to sing the
ballad.
The Ballad of Wally Moto
My name is Wally Moto and I'm a little cat!
My mama she was Siamese and my daddy he was black.
I am an evil kitty,
I have been since my spawn.
My mama didn't want me so she dropped me down the wall!
But I don't look back,
I'm a cat.
I like to claw and I like to scratch.
I don't look back,
I'm just a cat.
I like to paw and I like to claw.
