What makes Maude so mean?
This is Maude. Maude is 84 in
cat years. She neither looks nor acts cute. She’s the
devil’s spawn.
Maude is morbidly obese, if the
picture doesn’t suffice to show. From a head-on angle, her
physique is deceiving, for when she manages to roll to the
side and prop up on all fours to walk, all 50 pounds of her
can be seen from behind the form of an ungodly distended,
spherical mass of fur-coated FAT sustained by her 10+ meals
a day.
About the meals, Maude pummels
her brother and sister, and with velocity unthinkable given
her girth, dives head-first into a bowl of whatever she’s
given until there’s nothing left but traces of saliva from
her tongue (after which she promptly returns to her
sedentary routine.
Maude’s
most aggravating, blood-boiling habit, however, is lying on
a freshly laundered, folded load of clothes, even when
hissed at to go away. She looks at you with this glazed,
“what-of-it?” stare until you’ve no choice but to attempt to
remove her manually. Always a mistake! She also likes to
maneuver her way into cabinets, rifle through the contents
loudly at any given hour of the day, and when you’ve reached
wits’ end and just wanna throw her out, she makes a beeline
for whatever nook she can manage to squeeze herself into to
elude being deposed.
Photo submitted by: Julianna
Date last updated:
10/19/07
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