This foul-tempered little specimen is named "cat." She lives in Manhattan with my brother Rich. He adopted her from the eternal limbo of a no-kill shelter. They almost paid him to take her away! She skulks in dark corners, hissing obscene kitty epithets at anyone who approaches. I attempted to befriend her with tuna; she ate it and then attacked me. A fouler & more vengeful creature I have never beheld, mean simply because she can be, spiteful towards those who would love her. Only my brother is spared, and that is only because she recognizes him as the one who feeds her. A real shrew of a cat.

Rich-- I am warning you! Forget to fill her food bowl just once and she will butcher you in your sleep. Stop making excuses for her. You are in a domestic abuse situation, please find the emotional strength to pack your bags and take cover at the nearest men's shelter.