This is Lulu, aka Woowoo, Ooo Ooo, Spazcat, Foodhound, Owwwww Stop Climbing My Leg Its Time To Trim Your Claws!

About a year ago I adopted my Brother's 2 year old cat Princess as his landlord wouldn't allow pets. I'm not sure exactly what breed she is, but she has a long blue seal coat with adorable blue eyes, very vocal and very affectionate. Originally she came from a multi cat household, and I was considering getting another cat to keep her company. My mum took it upon herself to surprise me after a vacation; I came home to find not one cat, but two!

Enter Lulu, stage left (of Mum).

Lulu came from an animal rescue shelter, at only 8 weeks old and weighed a mere pound. This teeny little fawn tabby that you only had to speak to and she purred so loud. Awww, how could I resist? The first week she was fine; I'd shut Princess in another room and let Lulu venture into her new world, which she loved from the beginning. She was NOT a shy little kitty. I should have heard alarm bells but nooooo.

Anyway, the next week she began to get ill and she became very lethargic and weak. I thought I was gonna lose her, and she got lots of attention and love, until upon a whim I changed her diet and overnight mad kitty was back.

Yayyyy. Hehe..... wrong!

Now she's about 4 months old, and rules the house. Cats by nature are hunters. Lulu is without doubt a hunting cat; no prey is too big for her. In fact she even dominates Princess. Of course upon first introductions there was the expected hissing and growling from Princess, with Lulu laying in a submissive pose. Now it's completely the other way around. Princess isn't a small cat, and one well aimed swat of her 2 inch wide paws is enough to send Lulu rolling across the floor. That was until Lulu learned to box with all 4 paws. She's fast and deadly, delivering blow after blow to a now prone Princess.

Not content with the regular beatings, Lulu has also taken it upon herself to claim Princess's food as her own (along with mine if I'm stupid enough to leave it within reach). I tried placing Princess's food out of reach but Lulu soon learned to climb (it took about 2 days). All Princess's favourite naptime spots have also been hijacked. When I feed them treats, it has to be in separate rooms, otherwise Lulu hoovers hers up then a few swift jabs to Princess's nose ensures more tasty morsels. Princess has taken to finding hiding spots to guarantee some peace.

Now for me. My legs frequently look like hamburger; in fact they're a network of razor thin scars. Climbing my legs is another of her favourite tricks. She knows the kitchen worktop is forbidden, but being curious she HAS to know what I'm doing so she shimmies up my leg. Playtime is like world war 3. Once she gets excited she turns into a 5lb ball of teeth and claws, racing around (she never runs past Princess, she literally runs OVER her) like some possessed thing, killing all in her path.

Catnip makes her even worse. I have to sit stone still when she's on the "weed", and sometimes even that doesn't guarantee my safety. Right now she's curled up in her bed looking like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Maybe I should do what she does to me. Punch her on the nose a few times and if that doesn't work, crawl under the covers and bite her feet till she wakes up.

What a mean little kitty she is. I'm dreading the day she leaves me a dead dog on the doorstep as a present.....