Ex is mean, mean, mean. Especially if we expand the definition of "mean" to include "stinky" and "bizarre". He just loves to carry empty toilet paper rolls around the apartment, tearing them to tiny bits while howling when the mood strikes him. He also enjoys pulling rug pads out from under rugs and tearing them to bits too. He's been working on one in particular for over ten years. He continues to collect small totems, like milk jug caps, plastic hanger protectors and the aforementioned rug pad bits to put in the people's bed as a surprise. He likes hiding inside the comforter cover, which he knows makes the lady think he is dead and therefore freaks her out. His meanest trick is the oldie-but-goodie of peeing five inches away from the litter box. Every time.

The brains behind the operation, though, is his little sis Lilah, who really can be mean in the traditional sense, especially when you have petted, brushed or, oh, looked at her for a little too long. During the summer, she likes to meanly catch and hold cicadas in her mouth, thus achieving the elusive and very mean double cat-bug hum-growl-purr noise. Her picture shows her studying hard to find a way to achieve dominion over Kansas, as she is very bright and ambitious.