These two evil beings go by the names Gus and Chloe.

Chloe's pastimes include:

licking, biting, kicking, knocking things over (especially if they are filled with liquid), drinking out of vessels NOT intended for cats, hanging off of the screen door, scratching, shredding furniture, staring, purring, and sleeping in this cozy little basket with her favorite purple blankie.

Gus is fond of:

standing in front of my monitor while I'm trying to work, eating things off of the counter, stealing socks, digging in plants, defecating in neighbors' gardens, taking up 60% of the surface area of the bed, waking me up at 4am for no reason whatsoever, crunchy little plastic pieces, pooping in his litter box while his mom is cleaning it, begging for yogurt and sniffing things.

Gus and Chloe are fans of stampeding; it seems to be most enjoyable between the hours of 2am-5am. The goal is to run across a bed filled with sleeping humans, preferably across the facial area and preferably with claws OUT.