Cheeto is quite the clever one. First she tricked me into adopting her by making me feel sorry for her. Her tail looked mismatched to the rest of her body, and she was whimpering and acting all pathetic. As soon as I got her home, she commenced "Operation Touch-Me-Not". You have to sneak up on her to even get close enough to touch her, though when you are sleeping, she has no qualms about stepping all over your face or kneading you in the jugular.

In addition to her supreme theatrical capabilities, she also slaps the fish, drinks its water, argues back and forth with me when I tell her "no", and has been known to play dead until I get scared and then she laughs and runs away. She has perforated every scrap of paper in the house with her saberteeth. She will sit and stare at you when you call her name and take one step back for every one you take toward her. She is rarely congenial to guests, except when hopping away from me and acting like I beat her with a stick. She will not sleep in my bed unless she knows she is making me uncomfortable, though this doesn't happen very often, as she usually sleeps in the fruit bowl (not used for fruit anymore) or the bathroom sink. She has many other quirks and an insatiable urge to break things, but I love her anyway. What a turd.