Yeah, my name is Bear, but you can call me The Evil Bear Monster. I pride myself on being a master of the old 'bait and switch' routine. See, I just love to lure unsuspecting human slaves with my cuddly, come hither looks. No one can resist these baby blues. "Oh, look at the fluffy kitty! He's so cute!". HA! My trap is set! The human slaves are so gullible! As they reach out to pet me, I wait until just the precise moment, and then..... WHACK! I hiss and spit my evilness into their unsuspecting faces, slap them with my stealthy paws and sink my needle sharp teeth into their stinking human fingers. As they run screaming for the first aid kit, I sit back and lick their blood off my whiskers. Another victim falls prey to The Evil Bear Monster.

Of course my meanness is not limited to the human slaves. I have to entertain myself when they aren't around. Fortunately, I have plenty of targets in this house with the other sniveling hairballs that live here. There's one cat named Jessie who thinks he owns the place. All the other cats are scared of him because he's big and strong and slinks around, silently stalking them. Yeah right, Jess. So you can sneak up on the little ones and bite them while they are using the litter box. I am so not impressed. I have to constantly remind Jessie who the real top cat is here. That's right - it's me - The Evil Bear Monster. I love messing with that arrogant flea bag's tiny little brain. I'll totally ignore him for a while until he starts to think everything is cool. Then when he least suspects it, I'll launch my attack. Gotcha, you fool! I just love seeing his eyes fill with terror as I'm tearing him to ribbons. His fur goes flying everywhere and he runs away, screaming like a little human girl.